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why-oh

why-oh

why-oh

did I ever

leave Ohio

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the lone tormented soul

of an artist:

skateboarder, photographer, writer.

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friday, april spring

the park at Risil

clear blue sky with

sun shining

chilly - cool breezes

barren leafless trees

kids play in the schoolyard

the skatepark is empty

Reflection.

depressed on skateboarding

once again,

spring time is coming on

slowly

overcasted, cold gray,

rainy days

still linger on

the clear, blue sky

warmer, yet still with cool breeze

days

don't last for long

skating is becoming a

mere dream

pining now

for those long gone

warm Florida

nights and days

cruising the downtown

city streets with Millz,

my cruising partner

-

I need to stop dreaming.

I need to get my faith back.

Rediscovered Writings. Book I (1998-2001)

I sit and stare

as raindrops run down the windows

the cars outside

go by as faded memories

I once wrote that things,

life and people,

are funny to me...

it's odd sometimes

wandering around

getting lost in your own thoughts

trying to figure out life

purpose of existence

and what it amounts to

does it amount to anything worth while?

____

it's dark outside

I can barely see the cars driving by

- only making them out by their headlights

thunder rumbles off in the distance

as flashes of lightning flicker

and brighten the sky for a matter of seconds

the raindrops fall hard

and break the calmness of the sitting puddles

just as the customers in the store

breaks the calmness of me

the customers leave

and the distant thunder rumbles on

along with some smooth sounds

of Acid Jazz/Hip-Hop

bringing me back

to a settled calm state

taking the lyrics in

and sitting beside my thoughts

the calmness gets broken up a bit

by a couple of raindrops (customers)

but easily returns shortly

so I just sit

with my thoughts

staring out at the puddles

beaten by raindrops

as the cars pass.

____

nag champa is the scent

and the doors is the sound

the setting is the sanctuary of my bedroom

and as per usual

it's a routine situation.

____

I have so much in my head right now

thoughts have been running wild

but my laziness took control a while ago.

____

yet another day

pretty much completely wasted away

by me laying in my bed

locked in this dungeon of my room.

____

boredom

fear

fear of boredom

fucking no motivation for anything

just going through the motions

boredom,

that rat bastard.

Broke, Broken.

a new year began

the days were just the same

as the old of the year before

heavy sad feelings of anxiety

with stomach pains

still lingered on

insomnia - sleepless nights

stress and worry.

a january tuesday

dismal - gray, cold, rain

a drive alone to sweden,

on the E6 south

not made

broken down car

stranded in Råde Norway

to sit on a couch

at a mechanic shop,

drinking coffee

and reading

the book read -

Patti Smith's Just Kids.

waiting

for a ride from a friend

wanting, with hope

for things to just get better

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winter, lost

stomach aches

twisted in knots

anxiety

a fear and

depression inside

not wanting to

get out of bed

...

the boring time

short days of light

early darkness

cold, snow

only wanting to watch television

to be alone

rot away

from the inside

out.